Bingo! Day 88 of the 120 Day Do What You Love Challenge, I ain’t got nuffin to write about … ha ha, same old story back again for another airing. Yawn! Why do I have nothing? Because I wasted all my inspired moments on fluff – pootling on Facebook, making phone calls, checking this and that in my email – fluff, fluff, FLUFF! Frustration is mine for the wincing.
A life spent fluffing around
Fluffing is a very cunning strategy. It can be dressed up as ‘serious’ business: I must do this important invoice right now, I really need to find out where that parcel got to, I’d better wash up now or I’ll be too busy later. Sounds reasonable, but beware, a trap is about to slam it’s pointy teeth shut on the unsuspecting leg.
I love to write. I drop into a space where time, concern and desire evaporate and I am freely expressing spirit. It’s not always like that (like today – reluctant, sticky fingers haltingly poking out the words), but mostly I’m in heaven when I’m writing. When I want to write, space always opens up in my reality. Children are suddenly absorbed in some fascinating activity, the phone doesn’t ring, no one Skype’s, emails or hassles me, the world conspires to support me in doing what I love.
And what do I do with that precious time – fluff out, fiddle-fart around, bimble, potter and pootle. Aaaaaagh, the strategies of Little Me – anything to avoid my heart, what I truly love. Worst of all, it’s actually possible to fluff away a whole life! Imagine that (maybe you don’t need to imagine), a life of procrastination while the heart stands by, ready and willing to express in the world, if only there was a break in the shillyshallying that’s long enough to do it.
The Muse sits atop a rock, drumming her fingers impatiently, three more minutes of flim-flamming and she’ll depart for more fertile fingers, ones that are actually ready and willing to tappety-tap those little black letters. Damn! Inspiration slipping out the door, like a will-o’-the-wisp. I may as well spend four hours gaming, procrastination has the same stunting effect on creativity.
There is only one counter-strategy I know to combat fluffing and that is sheer bloody-mindedness – the will to override the fluffing bug, the balls/jugs to just sit down and do it even if it’s terrible, even if the Muse is sulking and unforthcoming. The 120 Day Do What You Love Challenge is, amongst many other things, a training in will, a procrastinator’s nightmare, a marvellous plunge into the world of actually taking action towards what you love AND seeing the results!
There are still two fat ladies (88), but now they’re dancing, their full skirts a’twirl, delighting in the stream of creativity that is unleashed by shunting the fluffer to the sidelines and giving the Muse the space she deserves.
© 2011 Pollyanna Darling
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